Hey there, mamas! Let's have a chat about something that's all too familiar—mum guilt.
It's that pesky feeling that sneaks in whenever we dare to put ourselves first.
But here's the thing: it's time to say see ya later to mum guilt (let's be honest even if we release it, it will come back in another form, on another day!) and embrace some well-deserved self-care. In this post, I'm going delve into how I work on releasing guilt and how I make me-time a non-negotiable part of my daily(ish) routine.
When mum guilt starts to creep in, it feels like a heavy weight, my inner voice is riddled with 'shoulds'.
It's that nagging feeling that I should be doing more, being more, giving more.
I should be able to juggle it all with more ease.
It's the constant comparison to other mums who seem to have it all together, and the fear that I'm falling short.
Mum guilt holds me back from truly enjoying moments of self-care and prioritising my own needs. Instead of embracing moments of relaxation or indulging in activities that bring me joy, I find myself consumed by thoughts of what I should be doing for my family instead. It's a cycle that's hard to break, but one that I'm committed to working on.
This week I went to the Baby Cinema at Everyman In Glasgow with a some other mums from my Mumma Meet Up Group (the have specific showing you can take your baby too, it is brilliant!) Luckily baby B was quite happy and I was able to enjoy the whole movie. When I left I realised that I CANNOT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I sat down and relaxed for 2 ish hours. It was bliss and I will absolutely be back. I would never do that at home, why......you guessed it, the guilty feeling of I should be doing something else with my time.
So, you might be wondering: How on earth do I start prioritising myself without feeling like I'm letting everyone else down, I've got littles to look after, a job to do, a house to look after.....the list goes on? Fear not, I've got you covered. Here some things I am currently working to try and feel a little less guilty about taking time for myself.
Remembering that self-care is not selfish. It's essential for our mental health, happiness, and overall wellbeing. Just as we cater to our children's needs, it's vital to carve out some time for ourselves too. The fuller our cup, the better we parent I think! Whether it's indulging in a cinema trip, a massage, having some time along, or heading to bed early with a book, find what makes your soul sing and find ways to get it into your day!
Tuning into what I actually need.Tuning into our needs can be quite difficult if we have been prioritising others over ourselves for a long time. what I'm going to say here is really bloody fundamental it seems even crazy to say this but it is so true. If you have been blocking out what you really need then start with this - How often do you out off going to the bathroom because you are busy, how often do you not eat even though you are hungry, how often do you go for coffee over water even through you know you are dehydrated? More often than you should is my guess! This is really foundational self awareness, but if you can honour these needs, realising the bigger needs becomes easier!
Setting Boundaries and sticking to them: This one can be a bit of a challenge, but trust me—it's worth it. Communicate your self-care needs to your support network and set firm boundaries to safeguard your precious me-time. Daily walk -check (trying so hard to hit the 10k a day mark right now) Sunday evening everthing shower - check. Thursday night yoga - check.
Prioritising sleep: I have had a big shift in my work life recently so my headspace has been drifting back there more then I would have like it too over my early post partum months. So I often find myself ideating or brainstorming in the evening when I really need to be sleeping so working on that balance has been a big priority for me. I know quality rest is vital for physical and mental wellbeing so I am aiming for at least seven to eight hours IN BED each night, little B is breastfed a few times throughout the night so I try an stay in a sleepy state when feeding ie not looking at my phone minimal lights etc
Practice Mindfulness - ie practicing what I preach! With a little one, a class or long meditation might be out the window so I have been laying into my senses for some mindfulness recently and its such way to heighten great self awareness. And then goes the cycle.......self awareness > in tune with needs > better communication of needs > enrolment of others in your self care. It all comes full circle!
Self-care isn't just about treating ourselves—it's about respecting ourselves. It's about recognising our worth and honouring our needs, even when it feels uncomfortable.
My motherhood retreats often spark a lot of guilt in attendees as they navigate leaving their children with others for the day. One of the past retreat attendees, Sarah, said, "I almost did't come because the guilt was soo much, but honestly, attending the Mindful Motherhood Retreat Day was a game-changer for me. It gave me the tools and perspective I needed to shift into deeply caring for myself. I came away feeling empowered, inspired, and ready to prioritise myself without guilt."
I know you want this too, I want it for you too!
Know that I am walking alongside you with this. I will be holding the space for you to work on your self care in a different way you may have already just as my teachers have done for me. These days are special and all unique as the energy of the attendees co-creates the atmosphere. The upcoming Ayr Retreat Days will include lots of tools for you to take away with you and integrate into your life, giving more opportunity for quality self care such as:
GUIDED INTENTIONAL BREATHING EXERCISES
SOMATIC MOVEMENT FOR RELEASING TENSION & STRESS
SELF MASSAGE FOR FACE AND JAW TENSION
INTENTIONAL CONVERSATION AND SHARING
MEDITATIVE AND THERAPEUTIC DRAWING
CATHARTIC JOURNALLING
RESTORATIVE YOGA
COLD WATER DIP
So, if you're ready to rewrite the narrative, Reclaim your sense of self-worth and up your self care game, why not join us for our upcoming Mindful Motherhood Retreat Day in Ayr? (August 3rd & October 5th 2024) While it may not solve all your self-care problems overnight, it will provide you with valuable tools, insights, and support to kickstart your journey towards effective self-care and self-respect. Together, we'll cultivate a sense of community, and reframe your prioritisation in a way that honours your needs and nurtures your soul. Spaces are limited, so book your spot today and take the first step towards a happier, healthier you. You deserve it, mumma!